Digusting yet Beautiful Lines
by hoshisukabiru
Summary: Izuki has this habit of making puns anytime and anywhere—but thank God this time he doesn't do it infront of a stranger...


A/N: This is a plot-less story. Don't expect much.

I don't own Kuroko no Basuke AND the jokes in this story aren't mine. Rather, they belong to my school's committee.

Warning: Extreme nerd-iness, but jokes shouldn't be hard to understand… I hope…

* * *

The phrase 'always together' defined Hyuuga's friendship with Izuki. The two words itself may sound shallow, but the depth was deeper than it seemed.

Hyuuga and Izuki's history wasn't a long one with twists in between. In fact, they only knew each other during middle school when they shared the same homeroom as classmates. Their status later developed into _teammates_ after they joined the same club throughout middle school. Soon after they dropped the formalities and began each other without the honorific –kun. Then, when Hyuuga and Izuki became third-years, both boys took the same entrance exam to attend the same high school. _Typical._

Their share of friends from middle school already expected that outcome since the very beginning. Hyuuga and Izuki; the best of friends, the most well-known pair in their junior high—it was as natural as the moon revolving around the Earth—they were inseparable. However, what people didn't know was, all those stuff went _without_ discussing; except for just a simple question on Izuki's part, ' _Hey Hyuuga, what high school do you intend to go to?_ '

' _Seirin._ ' Hyuuga responded with just a word.

' _Okay._ '

And Hyuuga wasn't surprised to find him and Izuki in the same class again for the fourth time.

They do not need words or ample of discussions. He understood Izuki, and in turn, his friend understood him as well, to the borderline of it being _too well._

Izuki was the first to realise that he didn't fully give up on basketball when their basketball team suffered from countless, humiliating defeats throughout their middle school career. The Generation of Miracles really left an impact on Hyuuga. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't think. He felt… empty. And listless.

When he was at that state, Hyuuga knew Izuki was worried about him—the eagle-eyed boy was always there by Hyuuga's side, even when he stupidly dyed his hair blonde and made a 180-degrees personality change upon entering high school.

He also knew Izuki became friends the air-headed giant to lift up his determination again. He knew that, but yet he didn't expect Kiyoshi Teppei to kick his ass and drag him to face the real world so quickly. Hyuuga felt his energy coming back the moment his false resolve shattered. His body twitched involuntarily in excitement. _Gosh, I wanna play basketball again._

Then there were his other teammates: Mitobe, Koganei and Tsucchida. And the following year, the first-years.

Hyuuga never felt any more grateful to have good friends he can consider as family, but it wasn't like he was ever going to admit that either. Nevertheless, his confidant and the one who understood him most was still Izuki, who had been his friend the longest. It wasn't one-sided either; Hyuuga also knew his best friend well:

 _Izuki was good with directions, he had good academic reputation, he was diligent when playing basketball…_

And out of all those, sadly, the one that outstand the most was: his love for puns and jokes. Moreover, they were _lame_ ones. Izuki also never dated any girl, well… girls who were initially drawn into his handsome appearance immediately withdrew as soon as he spoke, because to be honest, the boy's passion was such a _turn-off_.

 _He was a tragic boy_.

But, no matter how tragic Izuki was, he respected Hyuuga's obsessive love towards sengoku-period warriors. Hyuuga also did the same. To him, Izuki wasn't _really Izuki_ if he didn't make lame puns and jokes. Maybe that was just one quality of his friend.

However, THE OBVIOUS DOWNSIDE of Izuki was, he had this strange knack of making puns unpredictably—usually when in the presence of a stranger. So, Hyuuga wasn't so surprised when out of the blue, in Magi Burger of all places, his friend with the Eagle Eye suddenly exclaimed happily, "Why're you staring _blankly_ at a _blank_ piece of paper?"

The euphoria only lasted for a few seconds before Izuki came back to his senses. He blushed from embarrassment and bowed a little to the person he had interrupted. "Excuse me for my rudeness!"

Hyuuga sighed and did the same. "Sorry. He's always like this."

Their polite action was welcomed by a hearty laughter.

Hyuuga was stunned. Usually, Izuki's outburst of sudden 'inspiration' resulted in chastise of anger or annoyance. But, this laugh was sincere and sounded so familiar…

" _Shutoku's Takao!?_ " Hyuuga exclaimed, a little elated the one who received Izuki's lame joke was an acquaintance.

When he had enough laughs, Takao flashed them both with a smug smile. "Hello Seirin's Hyuuga-san and Izuki-san. Nice to see you here," He greeted before gesturing to the empty seats infront of him. "Have a seat."

Izuki and Hyuuga sat across him, grateful at the offer. The seats in Magi Burger were packed. "What're you doing here? Where's Midorima?" Hyuuga questioned, curious that Takao wasn't with his partner. Moreover, Magi Burger was kind of far from Shutoku and Takao was still in his school uniform.

"For inspiration. They say when you go to an unfamiliar place, you'll have it." He replied casually.

Hyuuga raised an eyebrow, as if saying 'I'm not following?' with his expression.

"You're writing a story or something? Homework?" Izuki inquired.

"Nah. Not really." Takao muttered, his voice lacking his usual amusement. "It's like a committee thing; many teachers are retiring this year, so my committee's in charge of making farewell messages to honour their contributions. Pretty boring. And a lot of work."

"Oh, so how's it going?" Izuki peered curiously.

"As you said; I just stared _blankly_ on a _blank_ piece of paper."

The moment Takao repeated his pun, Izuki laughed. Hyuuga rolled his eyes.

"So… your school's teachers huh…" Hyuuga rephrased, thinking about it. "Like, _'thank you for everything?' 'We won't forget you?'_ "

Takao exhaled exasperatedly. "I wish it's that simple, Hyuuga-san." He said. "Apparently, the Heads expect _creativity._ And I'm not cut out for it…"

"You put the 'cool' in sChOOL," Izuki suddenly blurted with his eyes gleaming in extreme gaiety.

Takao's eyes widened in awe and admiration as he complimented the Point Guard, "That's _cool_ Izuki-san!"

Izuki smirked proudly, taking it up to another level. "You're a teacher? S'cool."

Even Hyuuga smiled.

"You're s'cool teacher!" Takao contributed as he jotted down all three puns furiously on his paper.

Izuki looked at Takao in smug satisfaction. "Time to step up your game huh, Takao?"

"Not as good as you, Izuki-san." He scratched the back of his head, acting all humble even though he was really pleased with himself.

"SEIRIN!?"

" _And_ Shutoku," Takao added with a chuckle after the sudden interruption. "Hello Kaijou's Kasamatsu-san, Moriyama-san. Have a seat."

"Why're you two in Tokyo? And… where's Kise?" Hyuuga asked, a little disbelieved at the two Kaijo's third years infront of him. Was God trying to be funny? If meeting Takao wasn't strange already, meeting another rival from a different—not to mention far—prefecture was another story.

"Just visiting the uni we're applying to," Kasamatsu gave a brief explanation which covered both questions, followed by a polite nod from Moriyama who was initially busy searching for cute and pretty girls. Both of them sat next to Takao, with a tray of burger and fries in Kasamatsu's hand. "What are you guys doing here? With Shutoku's Takao, even." He eyed the three younger boys in suspicion.

"I'm looking for some inspiration." Takao decided to put it simply. "I met Hyuuga-san and Izuki-san by coincidence."

Kasamatsu didn't understand. "Inspiration for what exactly?"

Takao told him about the retiring teachers and the messages he was supposed to come up with.

There was a pause before Moriyama asked Takao, "Is there a history teacher?"

"Uhhh yeah. I think so. Why?"

" _You teach me History. I won't forget ours._ " He finished with a wink.

Takao laughed.

Kasamatsu elbowed the shooting guard hard in the ribs, a little red-faced. "Isn't that a fucking pick-up line?!" He hissed to his friend.

Moriyama clicked his tongue and shook his head, eyeing Kasamatsu as if he was an idiot. " _No_. Pick-up lines are more like; _you teach me Chemistry. I won't forget ours_."

Even Hyuuga laughed. "That's indeed a different game, Moriyama-san." He managed in between chuckles and then suggested, "What about: you're the _x_ to my equation. I love finding you for solutions—you know, when we don't get something, we ask the teachers."

" _You're my solution._ "

"Again, that's a different game. Hahaha."

Izuki was sulking because Moriyama had stolen the spotlight from him; Hyuuga actually laughed and complimented the older boy! And Takao had apparently written down the ideas he had told.

"Takao, is there a sports studies teacher?" Izuki asked suddenly.

"Yep there is, Izuki-san."

"Then: Thanks for _s'port_ ing me all the way." Izuki eyed Moriyama as if to challenge him. Moriyama's eyes gleamed; he gladly accepted it.

"For Chemistry teachers: Are you water? Because you dissolve my problems."

"Fluoride Uranium Carbon Potassium guys! Why is it suddenly subject-themed!?" Kasamatsu sighed, a little peeved.

Hyuuga snorted. "But… Kasamatsu-san, you just made a chemistry joke!"

A light bulb lit through Izuki's eyes. "Tellurium Actinium Hydrogen Erbium!" He exclaimed.

"My smile's like _y = x_ _2_ _\+ 2x + 4_ whenever you teach." Moriyama said.

"That's… uhhh… how to put it…" Takao sweat dropped. Somehow that _message_ sounded a little _off_ …

"You moron," Kasamatsu could feel his blood pressure rising. If he wasn't dealing with the idiot Kise Ryouta, he had to put up with his dumb friend. "Isn't it supposed to be, ' _Who's the best? It's y =x^(_ _2)_ _\+ 2x + 4!_ '?"

It took a few seconds for the others to understand what Kasamatsu had said. "Ohhhh! Nice one Kasamatsu-san!" Takao complimented, jotting that down when he finally got it.

"I never thought you had it in you, Kasamatsu," Moriyama jokingly made an exaggerated bewildered face. "If Kise's here, he'd think you're an alien or something."

Izuki wouldn't allow that; he was the joke master for God's sake. "For Accounting teachers: Thank you for _balancing_ the sheet of my life."

That earned giggles from the other four, even though Kasamatsu was trying to retain his solemn façade, he was failing miserably at it. This was too damn _punny_ when people get it.

"For computer teachers: You're like a compiler, always pointing out errors to fix." Moriyama countered.

"For D&T teachers: You put the D&T in my DeDicaTion." Izuki refused to give up.

"Are you xylem? Because you give me a rigid support when I feel like collapsing."

"What do you mean I'm your worst student? You're _geo_ king right?"

The battlefield was so intense between Moriyama and Izuki until Hyuuga interfered; before the little brainstorming turned into a fight.

"You're my _modulus bar_ ; always making me positive." Seirin's shooting guard contributed.

Kasamatsu loved mathematics; and he wasn't about to lose to someone younger than him at his best subject. His pride wouldn't allow that.

"My gratitude for your teachings can only be divided by zero; it can't be defined." Kasamatsu said.

Their table became so lively even Takao started to join in.

"Physics: Thanks for teaching me. I wish you a long half-life!"

Everyone turned silent until Izuki laughed, joined by the other males.

"T-that's depressing…"

Moriyama shook his head. "Discard that."

Takao smiled. "Then, for Chemistry teachers: You support me like the hydrogen bonds in my DNA."

"Chemistry? More like chem _mystery_ because I don't understand what you guys are talking about."

"Are you both stupid?" Hyuuga smiled. "That's _biology_."

"And— hydrogen bonds are easy to break," Kasamatsu gave them a little biology lesson.

"Add a modulus bar to it then!" Moriyama said, drawing it on Takao's no longer blank paper.

 _l easy to break l_

"That's not funny you bastard." Kasamatsu hit his friend.

"Yes yes sensei. I'll make the ultimate pick-up line for chemis—"

"Uhhh… it's _gratitude message_ , Moriyama-san."

"Whatever." Moriyama ignored Takao's correction. "For chemistry: Thank you for putting pressure on me and making me a diamond."

He quirked his eyebrow towards Izuki, provoking him mischievously. That irked Izuki. He still had some more in his mind: "For art teachers: You put the _art_ in sm _art_ and the smart in me."

Moriyama was about to open his mouth—

" _Thank you for filling the abyssal void of my mind with demented machinations."_

Five boys nearly screamed. They didn't notice Kuroko sipping a vanilla shake on the same table.

"KUROKO!? When're you here!?" Hyuuga was astounded at the sudden appearance of the blue-haired boy. He knew that Kuroko was invisible, but he couldn't be _that_ unnoticeable… right?

"Since the DNA joke," He said calmly, giving deadpanned looks at all the boys. "I did greet you all before asking for permission to sit down. I thought you all heard me."

"Your lack of presence is no joke!" Izuki was absolutely mortified. He swung an arm around the underclassman apologetically. Seriously, the boy sat beside him all this time but yet he didn't notice, much less felt his presence. "By the way, what? _Demented machinations?_ "

Takao laughed. "HAHAHA! Do you hate teachers that much?"

"No," Kuroko denied with his trademark poker face. "I'm merely stating the truth, Takao-kun."

"Woah, the _messages_ filled the entire piece of paper. Anything to add?" Takao ignored what Kuroko had said and proceeded to look at all the boys expectantly.

"Well, it's enough right?" Kasamatsu slumped against the cushiony chair, a little tired from the discussion. However, it wasn't over yet…

"For psychology teachers: 'you make me have _Oedipus complex_ because you're like my extra parent'!" Moriyama beamed happily at the sudden idea, although it wasn't welcomed like the way he had expected.

Everyone just stared at him, with their mouths agape.

"WHAT THE HELL MORIYAMAAAAA!"

Kasamatsu was the first one to recover; he wanted to kick the pitiful handsome guy hard, but he refrained himself from doing so. They were at a restaurant. The last time he used violence on impulse, he had to go hand out tissues with Kagami, Kuroko and obviously, Kise.

Takao laughed so hard he couldn't speak when he saw Kasamatsu's murderous expression.

Hyuuga covered his mouth. God. That was sick. He needed to marathon-watch historical drama now to quell his nausea…

Izuki on the other hand acknowledged that Moriyama had won their little game. Next time, he would not lose! _Puns and pick-up lines_ ; he would master it! Surely!

Izuki's determined face (and did Hyuuga just see _sparkles?_ ) made Hyuuga's sudden sickness to upgrade to another higher level. _Oh boy_ , he thought. _Seirin's gonna suffer from Izuki's lame puns._

Kuroko just chill, not understanding anything. _Are they playing puns with Izuki-senpai?_

* * *

A/N: That's how the conversation between my school's committee ended too. Oedipus complex. Awkward. If you don't get it, good. **Don't scar your minds with the ugly sides of this world.** Peace yo.

By the way, if you don't understand the jokes, do tell me… I'll try my best to explain ^^" Sorry if it's not as funny as I thought it would be. I am just lame like that…

~2Hoshi3~


End file.
